A letter to myself
Dear 2007 Courtney,
I’m writing this letter to you to tell you all the things I wish I knew when I was your age. We are currently 23 years old and about to graduate from college, which is crazy.
To start off, mom will be okay. Yes, she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, and I know that we don’t really know what that means or what will happen. But I do know that you are scared because it sounds very serious, and we don’t really understand what is happening, but I am here to tell you all the things that you need to know and things that I wish I knew.
Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that causes the immune system to eat away at the protective coating on the nerves. It can be very serious and lead to paralysis, but mom’s case isn’t that advanced. In the coming years, mom will experience a wide variety of symptoms from medications and from the disease itself, but there is one thing that will always remain the same no matter what emotions or symptoms she’s feeling. She will always be your best friend. You will call her to complain about your day, she’s the first one you will always want to tell good or bad news to, she will always support you in every aspect of your life, she will protect you, and she will always love you more than life itself.
Mom is going to rely on the people in her life to always remind her that everything is okay, and she is supported. She will not want to worry you about what is going on with her health so she might not tell you right away when things get bad, but she will tell you when she starts to feel better. She will always answer any questions you might have regarding the disease and how she is feeling. She will try to downplay how she is feeling because she wants to put her kids and her family above herself.
As we get older, we will begin to research more about this disease so we can be aware of what is going on or what might happen. This will cause a bit of anxiety, but we’re working on getting that under control. We do several school projects about mom and her disease, since this disease is not something that is often talked about. We donate money and do walks to help raise awareness and money to hopefully find a cure.
There are four types of MS. Clinically isolated syndrome, relapsing-remitting, secondary progressive, and primary progressive. Mom has relapsing-remitting MS, which means there are times when her symptoms will be worse and times where her symptoms are not as bad. Mom is going to take different medications to help slow the progression of the disease. Some of these medications will result in allergic reactions and some ER trips. The thing I was you to remember is that mom is strong, and she will always fight. While there is no cure for MS, at least not yet there is a lot of research being done.
Mom is still one of the strongest, most amazing women in the world, and she will always do whatever she can to make sure the family is taken care of. But there are somethings that I wish I knew as a child that would have made it easier for her, so I’m going to tell you.
Firstly, try to get along with Kyle. I know it’s hard and he isn’t always nice to you, but mom wants us to get along. Secondly, clean your room and help out with cleaning around the house, mom works very hard all day, and she could use some help around the house. Thirdly, you will come to be friends with some of the best, most supportive people. But they can’t help you through your issues if they don’t know what is going on, so don’t hide or bury your emotions because they will always find a way to come out. Usually, we hide our emotions until they lead to a very bad anxiety attack and hours of crying. The last thing that I want to tell you is probably the most important thing and that is, when you are going through a rough patch in your life, don’t run from the people who care about you, especially mom. She gives some of the best advice, even if we don’t think we want it. In the end, she is right. She is always right.
You are going to lose some friends, but you’ll gain better ones, go through heartbreak and sadness but also extreme happiness and that is a part of life. Just remember one thing, you can always rely on mom to be in your corner. She will defend you, protect you, tell you when you are wrong, help you with homework or resumes or cover letters, be your cheerleader, celebrate with you, and most importantly, love you more than life itself.
I know you are going to grow up to be a strong, independent, and powerful woman with the best friends and family. My last piece of advice to you is to cherish the time you have with your people and don’t let anything stop you from becoming the woman you are meant to be.
Love,
2022 Courtney